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IT'S SO HOT and DRY IN FLORIDA
#1
IT'S SO HOT and DRY IN FLORIDA. (1967 Version)

.... The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground
.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
.... Hot water now comes out of both taps.
.....you can make sun tea instantly.
.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.....the temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel the breeze.
.....you discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
.....your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
End up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is
Pull one out and add butter. (in the garden)
.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.
.....people are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
Laying boiled eggs. (in the country)
.....you can't fry eggs on the tank of your bike, if they got hard boiled
In the carton on the way across the parking lot.

Addendum for 2007
......the hot air from the Algorian provides a welcome cooling breeze.
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