01-04-2007, 11:48 AM
[cool][#0000ff]We have been thinking along the same lines. Unfortunately, with the recent bad publicity about the PCB residuals in carp, selling them for mass consumption is going to be a tough task. Here are some alternatives:[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]1. Set up a Utah based neutraceutical company to form a multilevel marketing program to sell carp byproducts. These can be promoted for skin care, weight loss, male potency enhancement, female breast enlargement, hair restoration, memory improvement, increase reading skills and all the other things typically touted by such products.[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]2. Sell all that stuff on late night infomercials...with a ten year free supply.[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]3. Promote the "Carry a Carp" program. Make it a law that carrying carp in the front seat of your car entitles you to drive in the HOV lanes on the freeways. The only restriction is that the carp be either alive or freshly dead. That way people would have to constantly be acquiring more carp. Also makes it easier on the driver.[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]4. Use reverse psychology on poachers and fish harvesters. Make it illegal to catch more than 100 carp, or to have carp in your freezer. Those guys will immediately go out and catch a few thousand for the freezer, just to show that they can get around the law.[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]5. Have Martha Stewart write a book on 1000 handy household things you can make from carp...or 1000 festive holiday decorations you can make from carp scales, etc.[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]6. Convince President Bush that Utah Lake carp are WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction). He will then load bombers full of them and drop them on our current enemies. Then again, that might not be good. They would probably eat them and continue the war to keep up their supply. The other potential downside would be that the insurgents would load carp into their roadside bombs. Exploding carp guts would really be bad news for the coalition troops who get bombed.[/#0000ff]
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[#0000ff]EEEEEEEEEEEEE NUFFFFF[/#0000ff]
[signature]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]1. Set up a Utah based neutraceutical company to form a multilevel marketing program to sell carp byproducts. These can be promoted for skin care, weight loss, male potency enhancement, female breast enlargement, hair restoration, memory improvement, increase reading skills and all the other things typically touted by such products.[/#0000ff]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]2. Sell all that stuff on late night infomercials...with a ten year free supply.[/#0000ff]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]3. Promote the "Carry a Carp" program. Make it a law that carrying carp in the front seat of your car entitles you to drive in the HOV lanes on the freeways. The only restriction is that the carp be either alive or freshly dead. That way people would have to constantly be acquiring more carp. Also makes it easier on the driver.[/#0000ff]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]4. Use reverse psychology on poachers and fish harvesters. Make it illegal to catch more than 100 carp, or to have carp in your freezer. Those guys will immediately go out and catch a few thousand for the freezer, just to show that they can get around the law.[/#0000ff]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]5. Have Martha Stewart write a book on 1000 handy household things you can make from carp...or 1000 festive holiday decorations you can make from carp scales, etc.[/#0000ff]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]6. Convince President Bush that Utah Lake carp are WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction). He will then load bombers full of them and drop them on our current enemies. Then again, that might not be good. They would probably eat them and continue the war to keep up their supply. The other potential downside would be that the insurgents would load carp into their roadside bombs. Exploding carp guts would really be bad news for the coalition troops who get bombed.[/#0000ff]
[#0000ff][/#0000ff]
[#0000ff]EEEEEEEEEEEEE NUFFFFF[/#0000ff]
[signature]