12-02-2003, 08:31 PM
[size 1][font "Arial"][#a50400][#a50400][size 3]** Ok guys read questions before looking at answers[sly]**
Are you dumb enough to be a Raider?[/size][/#a50400]
[/#a50400]By Graham Hays[/font][/size] [size 1][/size]
[size 1]It takes a special kind of person to play for the "dumbest team in America." Not every NFL player is capable of jumping offsides on a big play or making a late hit on an opposing quarterback or falling asleep in a team meeting. Yes, playing for the silver and black lets you live the glamorous lifestyle of a professional athlete. But do you have what it takes to play for Raiders? Take our Raiders' IQ Test to find out:[/size]
[#a50400][size 1]Team Knowledge
[/size][/#a50400]
[size 1]1. How many yards does it take to make a first down?[/size]
[size 1]A) 5
B) 10
C) 15
D) 20
E) 30[/size]
[size 1][/size] [size 1][/size] [font "verdana, arial, geneva"][#666666][size 1][/size][/#666666][/font]
[size 1][/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- After factoring in the 20 yards you've already been penalized for holding and intentional grounding.[/size]
[size 1]2. What is the Raiders' motto?[/size]
[size 1]A) Pride and Poise
B) Pride and Prejudice
C) Father of the Pride
D) Pride in Paychecks
E) Bring in 'Da Poise, Bring in 'Da Funk[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- Every classic needs a modern refurbishment. [/size]
[size 1]3. What is correct spelling of the former backup (now injured) quarterback's name?[/size]
[size 1]A) Evans (Vince)
B) Lowe (Rob)
C) Johnson (Rob)
D) Mirer (Rick)
E) Tuiasosohcrap (Marques)[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Hey, it's tough to read all those letters on his jersey when he was always on his back.[/size]
[size 1]4. Which group did Al Davis help create?[/size]
[size 1]A) League of Nations
B) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
C) American Football League
D) American Bar Association
E) Aging Millionaires of Northern California[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Partial credit for answering D, which he merely helped fund. [/size]
[size 1]5. What video is most important in preparing for a Week 14 game against Pittsburgh?[/size]
[size 1][/size] [size 1][/size] [font "verdana, arial, geneva"][#666666][size 1][/size][/#666666][/font]
[size 1][/size]
[size 1]A) Deep post to Plaxico Burress
B) 3-4 safety blitz from Mike Logan
C) Counter run from Jerome Bettis
D) Fish that Saved Pittsburgh
E) Paris Hilton [/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Nobody falls asleep in film study this week.[/size]
[size 1]6. Who has the most yards this season?[/size]
[size 1]A) Rich Gannon passing
B) Lincoln Kennedy holding
C) Shane Lechler punting
D) Jerry Rice receiving
E) Tyrone Wheatley rushing[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- Maybe he'll send postcards from Hawaii. [/size]
[#a50400][size 1]Community Knowledge
[/size][/#a50400]
[size 1]7. What is the state capital of California?[/size]
[size 1]A) Los Angeles
B) Oakland
C) Sacramento
D) San Diego
E) San Francisco[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: A -- At least it will be once Al Davis is done with his next lawsuit. [/size]
[size 1]8. What is the state bird of California?[/size]
[size 1]A) California Valley Quail
B) California Condor
C) Extended Middle Finger
D) Rick Mirer Out-Pattern Duck
E) Western Speckled Thrush[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- It's well-known for seeking out visitors to Oakland.[/size]
[size 1]9. Who was recently recalled as governor of California?[/size]
[size 1]A) Al Davis
B) Baron Davis
C) Betty Davis
D) Gray Davis
E) Sammy Davis[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- Team captains investigating whether the same procedure can be used on coaching staffs. [/size]
[size 1][/size] [size 1][/size] [font "verdana, arial, geneva"][#666666][size 1][/size][/#666666][/font]
[size 1][/size]
[size 1]10. Which provides prisoners the toughest escape?[/size]
[size 1]A) Alcatraz
B) Bill Callahan's doghouse
C) Black Hole at Network Associates Coliseum
D) I-280 at rush hour
E) Sebastian Janikowski's place[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Like visiting Mexico, visitors are advised to bring their own water. [/size]
[#a50400][size 1]General Knowledge
[/size][/#a50400]
[size 1]11. Which of the following is not extinct?[/size]
[size 1]A) Dodo Bird
B) Bill Callahan
C) Passenger Pigeon
D) Caribbean Monk Seal
E) Jerry Rice[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Easy one, as the other four are long past saving. [/size]
[size 1]12. What is the correct spelling of the drug commonly referred to as THG?[/size]
[size 1]A) Tetrahydrogestrinone
B) Tetrahydrogestrinowski
C) Thatisthehizzlegoodstuff
D) Tryhavingshriveledgonads
E) Trulyhategannon[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: B -- Kind of like naming a star after the astronomer who discovers it. [/size]
[size 1]13. What is the penalty for bribing a police officer in the state of Florida?[/size]
[size 1]A) Five years in prison and $5,000 fine
B) Two years in prison and a $10,000 fine
C) Three years probation and a $5,000 fine
D) Five years probation and Miami Heat season tickets
E) Stern talking-to from coach Bowden[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E Everyone knows football players never do jail time. [/size]
[size 1]14. You feel as if your boss' poor decisions are negating your efforts at work. How should you deal with your concerns?[/size]
[size 1]A) Broach the subject with your immediate supervisor
B) Send him/her a polite memo requesting a private meeting
C) Keep your concerns to yourself and wait for someone else to act
D) Borrow a co-worker's gamma hydroxybutate and spike boss' coffee
E) Address your concerns to the national media[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Callahan isn't much of a coffee drinker. [/size]
[size 1]15. What issue most concerns you in the upcoming presidential election?[/size]
[size 1]A) Education
B) Right-to-work laws
C) Prescription drugs for seniors
D) Tax cuts
E) War on terrorism[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: C -- It's the issue that hits closest to home for most of these guys. [/size]
[size 1]Results:[/size]
[size 1]0-5: Sorry, you clearly don't have a commitment to ignorance.
6-10: Keep working and Al Davis might sign you after you're past your prime.
11-15: Congratulations, are you interested in coaching the Raiders next year?[/size]
[signature]
Are you dumb enough to be a Raider?[/size][/#a50400]
[/#a50400]By Graham Hays[/font][/size] [size 1][/size]
[size 1]It takes a special kind of person to play for the "dumbest team in America." Not every NFL player is capable of jumping offsides on a big play or making a late hit on an opposing quarterback or falling asleep in a team meeting. Yes, playing for the silver and black lets you live the glamorous lifestyle of a professional athlete. But do you have what it takes to play for Raiders? Take our Raiders' IQ Test to find out:[/size]
[#a50400][size 1]Team Knowledge
[/size][/#a50400]
[size 1]1. How many yards does it take to make a first down?[/size]
[size 1]A) 5
B) 10
C) 15
D) 20
E) 30[/size]
[size 1][/size] [size 1][/size] [font "verdana, arial, geneva"][#666666][size 1][/size][/#666666][/font]
[size 1][/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- After factoring in the 20 yards you've already been penalized for holding and intentional grounding.[/size]
[size 1]2. What is the Raiders' motto?[/size]
[size 1]A) Pride and Poise
B) Pride and Prejudice
C) Father of the Pride
D) Pride in Paychecks
E) Bring in 'Da Poise, Bring in 'Da Funk[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- Every classic needs a modern refurbishment. [/size]
[size 1]3. What is correct spelling of the former backup (now injured) quarterback's name?[/size]
[size 1]A) Evans (Vince)
B) Lowe (Rob)
C) Johnson (Rob)
D) Mirer (Rick)
E) Tuiasosohcrap (Marques)[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Hey, it's tough to read all those letters on his jersey when he was always on his back.[/size]
[size 1]4. Which group did Al Davis help create?[/size]
[size 1]A) League of Nations
B) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
C) American Football League
D) American Bar Association
E) Aging Millionaires of Northern California[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Partial credit for answering D, which he merely helped fund. [/size]
[size 1]5. What video is most important in preparing for a Week 14 game against Pittsburgh?[/size]
[size 1][/size] [size 1][/size] [font "verdana, arial, geneva"][#666666][size 1][/size][/#666666][/font]
[size 1][/size]
[size 1]A) Deep post to Plaxico Burress
B) 3-4 safety blitz from Mike Logan
C) Counter run from Jerome Bettis
D) Fish that Saved Pittsburgh
E) Paris Hilton [/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Nobody falls asleep in film study this week.[/size]
[size 1]6. Who has the most yards this season?[/size]
[size 1]A) Rich Gannon passing
B) Lincoln Kennedy holding
C) Shane Lechler punting
D) Jerry Rice receiving
E) Tyrone Wheatley rushing[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- Maybe he'll send postcards from Hawaii. [/size]
[#a50400][size 1]Community Knowledge
[/size][/#a50400]
[size 1]7. What is the state capital of California?[/size]
[size 1]A) Los Angeles
B) Oakland
C) Sacramento
D) San Diego
E) San Francisco[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: A -- At least it will be once Al Davis is done with his next lawsuit. [/size]
[size 1]8. What is the state bird of California?[/size]
[size 1]A) California Valley Quail
B) California Condor
C) Extended Middle Finger
D) Rick Mirer Out-Pattern Duck
E) Western Speckled Thrush[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- It's well-known for seeking out visitors to Oakland.[/size]
[size 1]9. Who was recently recalled as governor of California?[/size]
[size 1]A) Al Davis
B) Baron Davis
C) Betty Davis
D) Gray Davis
E) Sammy Davis[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: D -- Team captains investigating whether the same procedure can be used on coaching staffs. [/size]
[size 1][/size] [size 1][/size] [font "verdana, arial, geneva"][#666666][size 1][/size][/#666666][/font]
[size 1][/size]
[size 1]10. Which provides prisoners the toughest escape?[/size]
[size 1]A) Alcatraz
B) Bill Callahan's doghouse
C) Black Hole at Network Associates Coliseum
D) I-280 at rush hour
E) Sebastian Janikowski's place[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Like visiting Mexico, visitors are advised to bring their own water. [/size]
[#a50400][size 1]General Knowledge
[/size][/#a50400]
[size 1]11. Which of the following is not extinct?[/size]
[size 1]A) Dodo Bird
B) Bill Callahan
C) Passenger Pigeon
D) Caribbean Monk Seal
E) Jerry Rice[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Easy one, as the other four are long past saving. [/size]
[size 1]12. What is the correct spelling of the drug commonly referred to as THG?[/size]
[size 1]A) Tetrahydrogestrinone
B) Tetrahydrogestrinowski
C) Thatisthehizzlegoodstuff
D) Tryhavingshriveledgonads
E) Trulyhategannon[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: B -- Kind of like naming a star after the astronomer who discovers it. [/size]
[size 1]13. What is the penalty for bribing a police officer in the state of Florida?[/size]
[size 1]A) Five years in prison and $5,000 fine
B) Two years in prison and a $10,000 fine
C) Three years probation and a $5,000 fine
D) Five years probation and Miami Heat season tickets
E) Stern talking-to from coach Bowden[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E Everyone knows football players never do jail time. [/size]
[size 1]14. You feel as if your boss' poor decisions are negating your efforts at work. How should you deal with your concerns?[/size]
[size 1]A) Broach the subject with your immediate supervisor
B) Send him/her a polite memo requesting a private meeting
C) Keep your concerns to yourself and wait for someone else to act
D) Borrow a co-worker's gamma hydroxybutate and spike boss' coffee
E) Address your concerns to the national media[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: E -- Callahan isn't much of a coffee drinker. [/size]
[size 1]15. What issue most concerns you in the upcoming presidential election?[/size]
[size 1]A) Education
B) Right-to-work laws
C) Prescription drugs for seniors
D) Tax cuts
E) War on terrorism[/size]
[size 1]Correct answer: C -- It's the issue that hits closest to home for most of these guys. [/size]
[size 1]Results:[/size]
[size 1]0-5: Sorry, you clearly don't have a commitment to ignorance.
6-10: Keep working and Al Davis might sign you after you're past your prime.
11-15: Congratulations, are you interested in coaching the Raiders next year?[/size]
[signature]