08-27-2004, 01:43 PM
I came across this article about a serious fish'in problem, River Snot, and how to deal with it:
[size 5]Dealing with River Snot
[/size][size 2]By Al "Booger" Simmons[/size]
[font "Arial"][size 1]Photo by Booger[/size][/font]
[#000000][font "Arial"][size 3]What is river snot?[/size][/font] [/#000000]
[#000000][font "Arial"][size 2]Those office pukes said I'm well positioned to write about river snot since my name is Booger. What the hell does that mean? Those yuppie creeps talk like aliens. Anyway, let me tell you 'bout river snot. The first thing you gotta realize is, if you're a purist you won't ever have to deal with it. It's those nympho-maniacs who are always dragging the bottom that have to worry. River snot is that green, slimey moss crap that completely covers your little nymph thing when you pull it in to check it out. The know-it-alls keep trying to tell me you snag it from the bottom. They don’t know diddley. The fish put that river snot on your nymph when they think you’re stupid. That’s right. See what happens is, one of em will see you nymphin and if he thinks your fly is really off or you’re nymphing like a putz, he calls all the other trouties and they hold court. If they come up with a guilty verdict they all grab some snot and put it on your nymph then give it a little pull to see if you think it’s a strike or something. Once, I got so pissed at their little kangaroo court, I snagged the judge trout on purpose and drove his little brown trout ass 8 miles down stream and let him go. I think he’s still lookin for his buddies. If you think I’m makin this up, I got pictures to prove it.[/size][/font] [/#000000]
[#000000][/#000000] [#000000][font "Arial"][size 3]Coping with the problem.[/size][/font] [/#000000]
[font "Arial"][#000000][size 2]Once your fly gets snotted you’ll need to get it off. Now you can stand there in the middle of nature's majesty and pick it off like some kind of surgeon moron but Ol Booger’s got a better way. Take your rod and get to whirlin it round your head real high and fast, then all of a sudden just smack the day lights out of the river. Some folks will look at you like you got a leg growin outta your forehead but just ignore them. Most 'em don't know jack anyway. I run into 'em all the time. Believe me, they don't deserve to live. If you want to avoid snot in the first place, you got two choices. You can try to appease 'em while court’s in session or you can trick em. Try givin 'em something they really want. Problem is, you never know what’s goin through those little trout brains of theirs. For all I know, they're down there plannin' to grow legs and steal my truck. You're better off trickin' the little devils. What you do is, dump a couple gallons of moon shine up stream. Pretty soon they’ll be so plastered they won’t care what fly you're using or how you’re presentin' it. And when you catch one, they just want to be your buddy.
In the end, if you just can’t handle river snot, give up nymphing. Now, Go Away![/size][/#000000][/font]
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[size 5]Dealing with River Snot
[/size][size 2]By Al "Booger" Simmons[/size]
[font "Arial"][size 1]Photo by Booger[/size][/font]
[#000000][font "Arial"][size 3]What is river snot?[/size][/font] [/#000000]
[#000000][font "Arial"][size 2]Those office pukes said I'm well positioned to write about river snot since my name is Booger. What the hell does that mean? Those yuppie creeps talk like aliens. Anyway, let me tell you 'bout river snot. The first thing you gotta realize is, if you're a purist you won't ever have to deal with it. It's those nympho-maniacs who are always dragging the bottom that have to worry. River snot is that green, slimey moss crap that completely covers your little nymph thing when you pull it in to check it out. The know-it-alls keep trying to tell me you snag it from the bottom. They don’t know diddley. The fish put that river snot on your nymph when they think you’re stupid. That’s right. See what happens is, one of em will see you nymphin and if he thinks your fly is really off or you’re nymphing like a putz, he calls all the other trouties and they hold court. If they come up with a guilty verdict they all grab some snot and put it on your nymph then give it a little pull to see if you think it’s a strike or something. Once, I got so pissed at their little kangaroo court, I snagged the judge trout on purpose and drove his little brown trout ass 8 miles down stream and let him go. I think he’s still lookin for his buddies. If you think I’m makin this up, I got pictures to prove it.[/size][/font] [/#000000]
[#000000][/#000000] [#000000][font "Arial"][size 3]Coping with the problem.[/size][/font] [/#000000]
[font "Arial"][#000000][size 2]Once your fly gets snotted you’ll need to get it off. Now you can stand there in the middle of nature's majesty and pick it off like some kind of surgeon moron but Ol Booger’s got a better way. Take your rod and get to whirlin it round your head real high and fast, then all of a sudden just smack the day lights out of the river. Some folks will look at you like you got a leg growin outta your forehead but just ignore them. Most 'em don't know jack anyway. I run into 'em all the time. Believe me, they don't deserve to live. If you want to avoid snot in the first place, you got two choices. You can try to appease 'em while court’s in session or you can trick em. Try givin 'em something they really want. Problem is, you never know what’s goin through those little trout brains of theirs. For all I know, they're down there plannin' to grow legs and steal my truck. You're better off trickin' the little devils. What you do is, dump a couple gallons of moon shine up stream. Pretty soon they’ll be so plastered they won’t care what fly you're using or how you’re presentin' it. And when you catch one, they just want to be your buddy.
In the end, if you just can’t handle river snot, give up nymphing. Now, Go Away![/size][/#000000][/font]
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