02-19-2006, 09:13 PM
I went up to my secret place yesterday. I can only say it's near the Idaho border. My wife doesn't know about it, my kids don't know about it. I usually blindfold myself the last three miles to help keep the directions a secret. When I got there, someone was already fishing! Well, there is a 4x4 post that has a 'Welcome to Utah' sign on one side and a 'Welcome to Idaho' sign on the other and since he was on the Idaho side, I figgered as long as he stayed on his side of the dotted line, it was OK if he fished my lake. I also thought I should be somewhat polite and talk to him, so I walked out on the ice and commenced a conversation. It went something like this, "Catching anything?"
He just said, "No". Then he said he'd been there since half an hour before sunup; he had tried wax worms, he'd tried meal worms, he'd tried plastic worms, he'd tried real worms. He'd tried jigs, he'd tried Rat Finkees, he'd tried boogers (I didnt' ask what kind), he'd tried, ice flies, he'd tried Panther Martins, he'd tried Swedish Pimples, he'd tried power bait, he'd tried salmon eggs. He'd tried spoons, spinners, and wet flies.
Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.
Then he remembered his wife's uncle told him that when he fished a lake, he'd cast out and count to 2 before retreiving his lure. Then he cast out and count to 4. Then he'd count to 6, then 8 and so on until he found the level the fish were in. My new friend said he was up to 38 and still hadn't found the fish. He was gettin' discouraged.
I was just about to suggest a new tactic, like using my auger to drill a hole in the ice when a middle-aged man roared up on his snowmobile. He looked at the Idaho boy and said, "I been watchin' you fer the last hour and you ain't caught nothin'. Son, you gotta learn how to think smarter or them fish will beat you every time. I know how to fish lakes! You gotta troll for them critters. Hop on the back of my sled an' we'll troll for the bigest fish you ever seen!" The Idaho boy climbed on the back of the machine and off they went.
I teach high school biology and I remember part of a conversation dealing with fish having small brains, fits between the eyeballs, not intellectual giants. Someone asked me if it is fair for beings of superior intellegence to match wits against poor, stupid beasts. No, it isn't fair. Those boys didn't stand a chance.
Early to bed,
Early to rise,
Fish like crazy,
Make up lies.
[signature]
He just said, "No". Then he said he'd been there since half an hour before sunup; he had tried wax worms, he'd tried meal worms, he'd tried plastic worms, he'd tried real worms. He'd tried jigs, he'd tried Rat Finkees, he'd tried boogers (I didnt' ask what kind), he'd tried, ice flies, he'd tried Panther Martins, he'd tried Swedish Pimples, he'd tried power bait, he'd tried salmon eggs. He'd tried spoons, spinners, and wet flies.
Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.
Then he remembered his wife's uncle told him that when he fished a lake, he'd cast out and count to 2 before retreiving his lure. Then he cast out and count to 4. Then he'd count to 6, then 8 and so on until he found the level the fish were in. My new friend said he was up to 38 and still hadn't found the fish. He was gettin' discouraged.
I was just about to suggest a new tactic, like using my auger to drill a hole in the ice when a middle-aged man roared up on his snowmobile. He looked at the Idaho boy and said, "I been watchin' you fer the last hour and you ain't caught nothin'. Son, you gotta learn how to think smarter or them fish will beat you every time. I know how to fish lakes! You gotta troll for them critters. Hop on the back of my sled an' we'll troll for the bigest fish you ever seen!" The Idaho boy climbed on the back of the machine and off they went.
I teach high school biology and I remember part of a conversation dealing with fish having small brains, fits between the eyeballs, not intellectual giants. Someone asked me if it is fair for beings of superior intellegence to match wits against poor, stupid beasts. No, it isn't fair. Those boys didn't stand a chance.
Early to bed,
Early to rise,
Fish like crazy,
Make up lies.
[signature]